Waiting for the Dream

This was written in early 2015. We had been married for almost 9 years at that point and had 3 children. 

This was originally published on an old blog of mine but the reason I decided to republish is because lately we have talked to so many people who share with us their dream to own a little bit of land, raise as much of their own food as possible and live a life similar to ours. We understand exactly how those people feel about those dreams because we too were there for years – and it wasn’t until we had been married for 11 years that we moved to our 5 acre property. 11 years of dreaming and hoping and saving!

Waiting can be hard but you can still learn skills and do as much as you can where you are – even if you’re living in a small apartment.

                      These were the first raised beds we constructed on our 1 acre lot.

We have a dream to own a small farm.

John David and I both were raised on family farms, we met through the FFA and we both have a BS in Agriculture. Agriculture is just a part of who we are.  When we were first married, we often talked about our dream to live and raise our family on a small farm.

Last spring, we started pursuing the dream after finding a house, barn and 7 acres. After much prayer and thought, we realized that wasn’t the best move for our family at that time.

Even though we knew it wasn’t the right time last spring, the dream was still there.

At the beginning of this year, we came across another small farm with a barn and 20 acres. We loved the setting, the house was about 1,700 square feet which would give us a little more room for our family to grow, it was set off the road and was mostly fenced and perfect for livestock.

We felt like the timing was right and submitted an offer. That offer was flat out refused, the owner wouldn’t even counter.

A few weeks later, the seller dropped his agent and started the ‘for sale by owner’ process. We went back to look at the house and met the owner. We felt like this house, land and location was a great fit for our family so we decided to put our home on the market.

Our hope and prayer was that our home would sell quickly and that we could reach a pricing agreement with the seller and move to the farm by spring.

We’ve had a little bit of interest in our home but no serious inquires or offers.

Over the past few weeks, we’ve sensed a need to just wait.

After a conversation we had about feeling like this might not be the right time, while doing my morning Bible study in Psalms, I came across this verse:

“Wait for the Lord;

be courageous and let your heart be strong.

Wait for the Lord.’

Psalm 27:14

We are in a season of waiting. We’re waiting for the dream of owning a small farm.

We are uncertain about how long the wait may be. It may be weeks, it may be months or it could take years. While waiting is not the answer we wanted, we know that we are where we are for a reason. We may not fully understand exactly why we are still in the waiting process but we know there is purpose in the waiting.

We also are content where we are. Yes, the desire to have a farm is still alive but we are living on an acre with plenty of room to grow things! Instead of being complacent because we hope to move soon, we’re starting our garden and getting excited about this growing season. And, if our wait ends up only being a few more months, the new owners of this home will hopefully be blessed by an abundant harvest!

The wait ended up being a little over 2 more years! We were content where we were – continuing to grow our garden, learn canning skills, study about homesteading, pay down our mortgage and enjoy living life where we were in that season. 

The Real Reason Behind Our Lifestyle

This was originally published July 1, 2009 on my former site, Frugal and Simple, (which no longer exists) as part of the Mommy, Come Home series at Amy’s Finer Things. This was written over 13 years ago – nearly a year before our first baby was born!

I never would have dreamed when I wrote this that we would go on to have 6 children! Staying home has not been a financial burden for our family since we planned for me to stay home since the very beginning of our marriage.

To be honest, not much has changed – we still live a very frugal lifestyle. We don’t view the small “sacrifices” as deprivation at all – in fact the habit of the small “sacrifices” have led to where we are today – being able to afford a large family and being completely debt free (NO consumer debt, auto loans or mortgage!)

Enjoy the original post, written by 22 year old Rachel:

When my husband and I were planning on getting married, we had several important conversations about finances, our roles in the household and kids. We decided before marriage that when we are blessed with children, I will stay home with them. Both John David and I had mother’s who stayed home when we were small and recognized what an impact that had on shaping us.

We married when we were young, in college and poor! I was 19, he was 20 and our income was approximately $20,000 a year. Because of such a meager income, we knew before marriage that in order to make it and not go into debt we were going to have to live very frugally. We were okay with hand-me-down furniture from family, shopping for clothing at thrift stores, not going out much and living on a limited grocery budget. It wasn’t always easy, especially in the beginning, but we don’t have any regrets about our lifestyle and know those small sacrifices have gotten us to where we are today.

Since we entered into our marriage knowing that I will stay home with our children, we lived frugally during the next 2 1/2 years. We saved money given to us when we married, income from odd jobs and once John David started working we kept our standard of living the same as it was in college to SAVE! By keeping our standard of living the same and continuing to fine-tune our frugality, we were able to purchase our first affordable home in December 2008 (with a 20% down payment)!

Now, we are 22 and 23, own a home, two paid for (older) cars, have no debt and almost have a fully funded emergency fund. We currently are living off of my husband’s ministry income (less than $35,000). I work limited part time (20-30 hours a month on average). My earnings are not figured into the family budget because we don’t want to rely on my income at all. Currently, my income, after tithes, goes to a car savings fund & our emergency fund!

We don’t have children now but we know that when we have children there will be absolutely no stress about deciding if I should stay home, losing one income or how we are going to make it. We know we will have to make material sacrifices, keep our hand-me down furniture, continue shopping at thrift stores, eat out rarely and stick to a tight grocery budget but it will be worth it because our children will be our wealth!

If you are married without children, it is not too soon to make the decision to stay home. I believe the sooner you make the decision the more prepared and less stressed you will be once you find out you are pregnant or bring your precious baby home and decide then you want to stay home.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Pray.

2. Have an honest, heart-to-heart conversation with your husband and discuss whether staying home is what you both want for your family.

3. Before the kids are born (or as soon as you and your husband decide you are going to stay home with your little ones) begin to adjust your budget to live only off of your husbands income. Use your earnings to pay off debt, build up a nice emergency fund, or pay extra principal towards your home.

4. Keep in mind that all the stuff we want and work so hard for (large homes, new vehicles, designer clothes, the latest and greatest electronic gadgets) do not bring us fulfillment and have no eternal significance. However, children are of eternal significance!! I know there will be days once I have children that I will probably question my sanity about my decision to stay home but I know that once I reach the end of this life, I won’t have any regrets about giving up vacations and new cars to stay home with the children God has given me.

Be sure to visit Amy at The Finer Things in Life for more articles about staying home in her Mommy, Come Home! series.

***This is my story, my personal conviction and my suggestions to help those who feel they are called to be full-time mommies. I do not look down on women who work outside the home at all, I know they are doing what they are called to and believe is best for their family – and God gives us all unique gifts and callings!

I know not everyone has a dream to stay home with their children – I just want the women who do have a dream to stay home, know it can be possible!! And, I am here to encourage you on that journey!

And, 22 year old Rachel was right, some days I do question my sanity about staying home with my children – especially homeschooling! There is no perfection on this side of eternity and some days are HARD but at the end of the day, I am thankful for this beautiful (and chaotic) life I live!

Baby #6

We found out our sixth baby was on the way in February!! We shared the news with a garden themed announcement in May.

Once again, we decided to wait until birth to find out the baby’s gender. We didn’t need much for baby since we have newborn cloth diapers as well as newborn neutral clothes.

30 weeks

40 weeks

For the second time, I made it to and then past my due date! It’s hard to believe but babies 5 and 6 were my latest ones.

The last week of pregnancy was physically and emotionally draining as I dealt with prodromal labor.

To keep myself sane, I cross stitched! It was a restful and productive activity that kept my mind calm while waiting for baby.

Birth story coming soon!